What is self confidence? One of the most important lessons I’ve learned and am still learning, and mostly likely won’t stop until I am laid to rest. Self confidence isn’t self confidence. It is self acceptance. Accepting all the things that make you imperfect. It’s acknowledging you make mistakes, you are not a perfect 10, you will say and do the wrong things. You will fail and you will fall. Self confidence is when you accept that all this will happen.. And that you are ok with it.
When most people make a mistake – during an event, a social setting, or any activity they take part in – the inner voices usually begin. You begin to bully yourself incessantly, allowing your own mind to call you names and tell you things you would never allow another person to say to you. If a mistake happens, it is not good or bad. It just is. Only your mind exploding in thought afterward warps it from an event into something bad or worse, catastrophic. If you move on from it immediately and maybe learn from it, you can usually recover from near any mistake. However, as soon as your mind takes the reins, you have beaten yourself up to the point where there is no returning from the mistake. You are now everything you told yourself you were in your mind, even if you weren’t before.
As I become more confident and truly try to accept and love myself more, I see that voice emerging all the time, and sometimes it takes over my inner script, but sometimes I can accept that voice as well as whatever mistake I’ve made. I can tell myself that it’s ok. It’s ok to make a mistake or to fail or to let someone down. I tell myself that the most important thing is my inner peace and mental health, far more than any short term pleasure or learning I may receive from endless pondering of the mistake in that moment. I can lose the girl. I can fail at my job. I can get rejected if I open myself up. I can lose family, friends, passions. The only thing I can’t do is continue to bully myself any longer.
Once I am free from the pressure of being perfect and having to succeed at everything I do, I am free to focus on what is really important: having new experiences, enjoying life’s opportunities as they come up, and using my potential to be the best that I can be in anything I want to do.
“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on it’s own wings. Always believe in yourself”